When Mary Rogan accepted a magazine assignment from Toronto Life, she had no idea it would stir up such a hornet’s nest. “The Brief Life of Aqsa Parvez,” this month’s cover story, is a sensitive portrait of a teenaged girl caught between the wishes of her devout family and the lure of a secular Western culture. The 16-year-old was strangled after her father allegedly threatened to kill her for ignoring his wishes. Her father and brother have been charged with her murder.
“The untold story of Toronto’s first honour killing,” said the cover line. And then the protests began. The magazine has been fielding a barrage of e-mail denouncing the piece as racist and Islamophobic. “The magazine created a culture of fear in perpetuating negative stereotypes,” said one protester interviewed on CBC Radio.
Curiously, the protest isn’t being driven by Muslim groups. Instead, it’s coming from feminists who insist there is no connection between misogyny and culture. One of those speaking out against the article is Paulette Senior, CEO of YWCA Canada, which has become highly politicized in recent years. She and others argue that misogyny and sexism are universal. “Violence against women is happening in all communities,” insists one.
Well, yes. But maybe in some more than others.
Ms. Rogan is dismayed that feminists have chosen to align themselves with conservative Islam to minimize the problems in some of Canada’s immigrant communities. She does not regret using the phrase “honour killing” (although, please note, nothing has been proven in court). “If three white guys grab a black man and put a rope around his neck and hang him from a tree, we know what that is,” she says. “We have words like ‘lynching.’ It’s powerful. It’s evocative. It’s specific. To be specific is not racist.”
Ms. Parvez’s family lived in Mississauga, which is Canada’s sixth-largest city and home to a large enclave of immigrants from Pakistan. To understand the girl’s life, Ms. Rogan spent many hours getting to know her two best friends, neither of whom is Muslim. They described a girl who wanted to express herself, have a boyfriend, go to the movies, show her hair. She told them how frightened she was of her father and brother, and how desperate she was to get away from home.
The day after Ms. Parvez’s death, the local imam held a press conference where he denounced honour killings. Later, in an interview, he explained to Ms. Rogan that the command for women to cover their heads comes from God.
The conflict between old-world fathers and new-world daughters (and sons) is as old as immigration itself. It’s not confined to any ethnic or religious group. But honour killing - when a family member, or even the entire family, believes the murder of a girl by her relatives is justified - is a phenomenon in Muslim countries.
Plenty of feminists are in denial about cultural misogyny. But plenty of people with immigrant backgrounds think we need to do a lot more talking about it. In a letter to Toronto Life, Sarah Jafri wrote: “Unfortunately, the Muslim Indo-Pak community is primarily made up of immigrants who refuse to integrate in Canadian society and adopt a liberal and open outlook in life. They justify acts of violence against women ... as their ‘given male right’ through the use of religion.”
Shortly after Ms. Parvez’s death, the Pakistan Daily Times ran an opinion piece by Farrukh Saleem. “Honour killing is our export to Canada,” he wrote, as well as to Britain, Germany and many other countries. “Denial is not an option,” he warned. “Who will protect women from the laws of men?”
“I really don’t believe in cultural relativism,” Ms. Rogan says. “I believe there are things that are right in any culture and wrong in any culture. What happened to Aqsa Parvez was wrong. My hope is that people will learn something, and that girl will be remembered.”