It was a typical Wafa Dabbagh moment. Last month, in the midst of intensive treatment of her advanced lung cancer, the petite lieutenant-commander in the naval reserves met a delegation of her colleagues and superior officers in a hospital visiting room.
They were on an important mission: to present Dabbagh with a Diamond Jubilee medal, a new award created to mark the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth’s ascension to the throne. Lloyd says the list of qualities that earned Dabbagh the medal is long, and includes “her commitment and dedication to duty. Coming to work with a smile every day, in spite of the enormous challenges of what she was going through. Being that effervescent team player. What she has done as a trailblazer, in the Muslim community and the military community. All of the above.”
Apprehensive about seeing their friend in the final stages of such a devastating disease, the officers arrived with heavy hearts, but left feeling transformed.
“It was a tough moment, but Wafa was so appreciative for all that she had and for the fact that she was being recognized for her dedication and leadership,” says her commanding officer, Rear Admiral Ron Lloyd. “Despite going to see someone who might never come out, we all left buoyed by her fighting spirit, her infectious good nature and her overall enthusiastic approach to life.”
Dabbagh died at The Ottawa Hospital Tuesday morning, at the age of 50. A single woman with no children of her own, she was a beloved colleague, sister, neighbour, friend and honorary aunt who also happened to be the first woman in the Canadian military to wear the hijab, the Muslim headcovering for women.
A Palestinian born in Egypt, Dabbagh was raised in Kuwait and moved to Canada as an adult. She joined the military after accidentally wandering into a recruiting office in Windsor.
With two degrees in business administration, Dabbagh was looking for work in her field, but curiosity prompted her to ask about openings in the military.
“I wasn’t trying to prove anything or be the first at anything,” Dabbagh told the Citizen in a story that appeared in 2010. “I wanted an adventure and I wanted a job.”
Before she even made it to basic training, Dabbagh had to overcome the skepticism of some officers.
“The commanding officer sat me down and said ‘I don’t know what to do with you,’” Dabbagh recalled. “He had called every branch of the forces and no one had a covered Muslim woman in their ranks. I told him, ‘What you see is what you get, sir. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t eat pork, but I can do everything else.’”
Aside from the hijab, Dabbagh’s uniform varied only slightly from standard issue. She wore a longer skirt and the shirt she wore day-to-day was a maternity smock, as the navy shirt was too form-fitting. After she passed basic training, an instructor confessed that when he heard a Muslim woman in a hijab was coming for training, he had said he didn’t want her in his platoon.
“I had no idea you would smile so much,” he told her.
After more than 15 years in the naval reserves, Dabbagh rose to the rank of lieutenant-commander, the equivalent of a major in the army. Dabbagh was certified to shoot a C7 rifle and a 9-mm pistol, and was studying to qualify for promotion to a command position when she was diagnosed with cancer in 2010.
For many years Dabbagh juggled her reservist duties with civilian life as a telemarketer and later a weather observer at the airport. In 2006, Dabbagh took a job training naval cadets.
In 2007, she joined Operation Proteus, a small mission to Jerusalem where Canadian military personnel were helping to train Palestinian security forces, a role that made the most of her background and fluent Arabic. In 2010 she was one of the first 50 service personnel awarded the Operational Service Medals, which recognizes those who completed non-combat overseas missions that involved a level of risk or intensity.
Although she didn’t set out to be a pioneer, Dabbagh quickly realized her actions were under scrutiny.
“I have felt like I was under the microscope a lot, and was always asking myself, ‘How will that look?’ You try to be yourself and do your best, but you wonder, if I make mistakes, will it be seen as representing all Muslims?”
Still, she was proud to have cleared the way for other women who want to wear the hijab and serve in the military.
“I want the Muslim community to know the door is open for them in the Forces. My experience has been 95-per-cent positive, and if I can do it, they can do it,” said Dabbagh.
“And I want other Canadians to know that there are people serving Canada who are not white with blond hair and blue eyes. We are all working together, white, black, Asian, Arab, aboriginal — and I’m one small face among them.”
For family members who travelled from the Middle East and the United States to be with Dabbagh, it was comforting to see the large turnout at her funeral on Wednesday.
“Wafa makes friends very, very easily, wherever she goes in the world,” says her brother Shams Dabbagh, who came from Dubai. “In Ottawa she created within a short time a lot of friends who all seem to be touched by her one way or another. There are lots of people who really loved her.”
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